Burning Questions

Every once in a while I get the scary yet proud feeling that Maia is pretty smart. She has an amazing capacity to remember things, and she often asks questions about topics that I think most three year olds wouldn't normally be interested in.

Just today, after reading a book about new babies that had a picture of a nursing baby, she asked, "Mommy, how does the milk get into your breasts to feed the baby?" I tried to explain that your body knows you are having a baby and produces the milk, but I'm not sure she was satisfied with my explanation.

Of course, there is the dreaded, "How is the baby going to get out of your belly?" conversation she has been bringing up again and again. My neighbor told me that when her kids asked her that question, she just said, "A special hole," and that was the end of it. They never questioned her further. I tried that on Maia, and it failed hopelessly. She ended up pulling up my shirt while gleefully shouting, "Where, Mama? Where's the hole?" Luckily, my belly button side-tracked her. I let her go on believing that the "special hole" was the belly button, but after a couple of days, she asked again. I decided to be honest and pointed down. Thank goodness, she seemed satisfied and did not do any further prodding. Until today that is... Out of the blue she asked me, "Mommy, when is the baby going to come out?" I told her after Christmas, and she repeated, "Oh, after Christmas the baby is going to come out of your o-shiri (o-shiri is the Japanese word for butt.) I couldn't stop laughing, but didn't correct her. I know I"ll have to eventually tell her the truth, but I am still confused about how much detail I should go into.

She is a very precocious little girl, and she understands a lot, but I don't want to give her more information than what is developmentally appropriate for her age. Also, I am very conscious of the fact that I am developing her attitudes about what is normal and healthy. I don't want her to grow up feeling ashamed of her anatomy or misinformed about how things work. For example, my mom lied to me about how babies were made and came out. She told me that when a husband and wife were married, God would put a baby in the mommy's belly. The baby would be taken out by c-section. The mommy would go to the doctor and have him cut the baby out of her stomach. To my mom's credit, I was born that way, so she was not completley lying, just withholding very important information. Later on, I learned that information on the school bus from other kids, and was incredulous! I was sure what my mom had told me was accurate, and I remember arguing with them that they were wrong. It doesn't feel good to know that your parents lied to you. I want to avoid having Maia experience that feeling, yet I don't want to inundate her too much information either. What is a parent to do?